Passover

14 March 2008

I met with Jacqueline lately and had a long chat about the past. The things that I hid from it for too long and the fact is that I am really very uncomfortable about the chatting.

She only will reminds me about when she left me, but what's going through my mind is at the time frame that after she left me. Too many things happened and changed, my surroundings and people and myself.

I miss the old Casey as was talking to her, she remind me alot about Grace and I can read from her that she did it on purpose. It is fine, but feeling so painful for her, I can feel the pain she holds for so long, she just wanted to "kill" me if she could, the hate in her for me, for the things I had done that I almost forgot.

Then I realized that I have not forgotten about Grace. Jacqueline told me that she stayed in touch with Grace always, and attended her wedding. She told me that they met for coffee and even chatted about shopping and so on. But what she didn't know really, is about the happenings "after" she left.

Too much to tell her and I kept silent just let her talk and asked about the pass and whatever she would asked me if I not sure I just told her I am not sure or don't know. I really don't know and really forgotten alot of stuffs. As said I might just giving myself excuses to forget them.

Am I normal? Was my past really painful? Did I actually hurt too many people? And did I move on?