The Phone message from the affair :
"Good morning, I am "Fem" from Jakarta. I want to say sorry to you. I didn't meant to hurt you by taking away your husband. I really didn't know he's still has with you and your son ever since we were together, till I found your picture in his laptop after the trip from beijing. He told me was divorce. Than I trusted him. He stayed with me in Jakarta, but now i found out that he is chasing another lady while he's with me, and her name is joan. I saw his sms'es, his phone with me since last night. I am so sorry to you. I didn't meant to hurt you. If you want to talk to me, you can call to my number, I'll tell you everything. I've been cheated also."
As mentioned the Protaganist been watched by the world. While calling back home and trying to support "his" truth and emailing love letters and seeking sympathy.
• He mentioned he was lost
• He wants the relationship
• He mentioned he's in trouble and think he's been watched in Jakarta
• He said he left / or have nothing to do with any relationship in Jakarta
Meantime
• He's chasing another gal call Joan
• He' still staying with Fem in Jakarta
• He called from Jakarta airport and saying he's coming back home to save his marriage (was a very fast move)
• The night before he still staying over at Fem place (is not how will Fem able to get hold his phone)
So, wife went to meet her in-laws to tell them about the message from Jakarta and also spoken to her. In-laws said, see he's just having fun.. let him be. Just need to give him a chance.
What is the world turning.. against all rules and there isn't. Or this is just human.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Malodorous
Got a call this morning. Hearing from her sad voice, someone from Jakarta called to say sorry...about the affair with her husband. She too felt betrayed as he is not going after another lady (his new target) and meantime he sounded sorry about not being a good husband and want her to forgive him and go over to Jakarta to work out the marriage. What the world is happening to him. When the world is watching his lies and he doesn't know about it?
• His phone was pick-pocketed last night in jakarta (he didn't know was with his lover)
• His lover called her (he didn't realised and asking her to go over to Jakarta)
• He been telling her that there's nothing between that lady and him.
• Just a business trip in China. (but everything was surfaced)
Are these real? what is he up to?
Reading my old emails.. love said to be lier too! now that I have written, you told me is over.
05 Jun 2005 AM 06:10:41
You promised to write on Friday but I've been looking out for you message since then. You've not written...is there something you're trying to tell me?
• His phone was pick-pocketed last night in jakarta (he didn't know was with his lover)
• His lover called her (he didn't realised and asking her to go over to Jakarta)
• He been telling her that there's nothing between that lady and him.
• Just a business trip in China. (but everything was surfaced)
Are these real? what is he up to?
Reading my old emails.. love said to be lier too! now that I have written, you told me is over.
05 Jun 2005 AM 06:10:41
You promised to write on Friday but I've been looking out for you message since then. You've not written...is there something you're trying to tell me?
Hoi polloi
When things isn't what you expected.. you will write something like that to show your anger and same time hoping that you can change some minds. How about this.. when things going your ways.. these does not mean anything anymore. Isn't it?
I still am a believer of love.
02 March 2006 10:07:56 AM GMT+08:00
Dear Me,
I think it's time for us to move on and not wait anymore...even if it might mean that I love you in many more years to come and yet not be with you.
Well, sometimes I feel like a fool in this love...writing to you, sending you gifts, giving you calls..when you are toiling day and night for another girl, and you no longer can do simple things like sending me some pictures that I need, or watching some movies I mentioned in the letters, or developing the pictures I took of you in India, and you don't write. Sometimes, I feel that you want me to make up for the mistakes of your past lovers but I can't do that, and I'm not here to do that. I just know that I love you.
There's no reason to return; for what, for a love I don't even know still exist or not...
You want to prove that `love' exists, I just want you, and to know you love me...guess that's the difference.
We need to get our lives moving
She
I still am a believer of love.
02 March 2006 10:07:56 AM GMT+08:00
Dear Me,
I think it's time for us to move on and not wait anymore...even if it might mean that I love you in many more years to come and yet not be with you.
Well, sometimes I feel like a fool in this love...writing to you, sending you gifts, giving you calls..when you are toiling day and night for another girl, and you no longer can do simple things like sending me some pictures that I need, or watching some movies I mentioned in the letters, or developing the pictures I took of you in India, and you don't write. Sometimes, I feel that you want me to make up for the mistakes of your past lovers but I can't do that, and I'm not here to do that. I just know that I love you.
There's no reason to return; for what, for a love I don't even know still exist or not...
You want to prove that `love' exists, I just want you, and to know you love me...guess that's the difference.
We need to get our lives moving
She
Monday, February 26, 2007
Acceptance
Is it just me that my lovers do not stay with me more than 2 years, and how many more two years I have got. Many things that happens and many things that is "me" is never what I wanted and is never my choice. people around made the ME as me. Another excuses?
18 September 2005 7:46:10 AM GMT+08:00
This email talks about her feelings, acceptance or regrets. These are the promises. Please show me an answer to love.
follows....
I miss you lots, "Me".
What are your feelings for me; do you want to love me for a lifetime? Are you sure you can love me enough?
I go pass each day hoping that I'll miss you less and think of you less as I stay further away from you. ya, you'll tell me this is not the way human psychology works. : )
Things are slightly better now -- more settled this time round, ready to work,and might be doing some voluntary work. Weather is still fine, like S'pore's. Things are better between me and him now, still feels like buddy to me than a man I love, that's sad. Think he knows it too, said the other day "If things still don't work out after we've tried, no regrets."
He's happier now, and has come into acceptance. Guess this was what I'm here for.
You know, I'm not expecting anything from you, but I wish for you to be honest with me, as a friend as a lover, about your feelings and thoughts for us. Even if my marriage doesn't work out, I'm not expecting us to work out. I don't like to jump into conclusions like this, and you know my nature - my belief is the world is out there.
Write to me, dear Me, She
18 September 2005 7:46:10 AM GMT+08:00
This email talks about her feelings, acceptance or regrets. These are the promises. Please show me an answer to love.
follows....
I miss you lots, "Me".
What are your feelings for me; do you want to love me for a lifetime? Are you sure you can love me enough?
I go pass each day hoping that I'll miss you less and think of you less as I stay further away from you. ya, you'll tell me this is not the way human psychology works. : )
Things are slightly better now -- more settled this time round, ready to work,and might be doing some voluntary work. Weather is still fine, like S'pore's. Things are better between me and him now, still feels like buddy to me than a man I love, that's sad. Think he knows it too, said the other day "If things still don't work out after we've tried, no regrets."
He's happier now, and has come into acceptance. Guess this was what I'm here for.
You know, I'm not expecting anything from you, but I wish for you to be honest with me, as a friend as a lover, about your feelings and thoughts for us. Even if my marriage doesn't work out, I'm not expecting us to work out. I don't like to jump into conclusions like this, and you know my nature - my belief is the world is out there.
Write to me, dear Me, She
Hardscrabble
03 May 2006 10:24:08 AM GMT+08:00
An email to me from my ex-lover that promises too much and nothing been done. She left me and got back to her old relationship : telling now that she felt the pain of her actions. Is that so to be? She left me in June 2006, after all that we had plan, went to Japan to bring her home and more. ... really more. Is there still romance? or just lies...
Here's the email...
Am now reading `By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept', another novel by Paulo Coelho, also the author of `Alchemist' and `Zahir'. It's a story of love and dreams, and is so meaningful. He's a writer whose words so often speak to me -- his thoughts and philosophies on life.
here's the author's note:
"with love, there are no rules. some may try to control their emotions and develop strategies for their behaviour; others may turn to reading books of advice from `experts' on relationships --but this is all folly. the heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters.
all of us have had this experience. at some point, we have each said through our tears, `I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it.' we suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. we suffer because our love is going unrecognized. we suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules.
but ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies a seed of our growth. the more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. they have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced and shared what saint paul called 'the madness of saintliness.' they have been joyful --because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. true love is an act of total surrender.
this book is about the importance of that surrender. pilar and her companion are fictitious, but they represent the many conflicts that beset us in our search for love. sooner or later, we have to overcome our fears, because the spiritual path can only be travelled through the daily experience of love.
thomas merton once said that the spiritual love is essentially to love. one doesn't love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. if we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we are seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. this has nothing to do with love. to love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."
..., this is what i want to share with you today from what i've read. I, too, want to `discover' in you 'the spark of God'. I'll write you more, in parts, what I've read.
love, she
An email to me from my ex-lover that promises too much and nothing been done. She left me and got back to her old relationship : telling now that she felt the pain of her actions. Is that so to be? She left me in June 2006, after all that we had plan, went to Japan to bring her home and more. ... really more. Is there still romance? or just lies...
Here's the email...
Am now reading `By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept', another novel by Paulo Coelho, also the author of `Alchemist' and `Zahir'. It's a story of love and dreams, and is so meaningful. He's a writer whose words so often speak to me -- his thoughts and philosophies on life.
here's the author's note:
"with love, there are no rules. some may try to control their emotions and develop strategies for their behaviour; others may turn to reading books of advice from `experts' on relationships --but this is all folly. the heart decides, and what it decides is all that really matters.
all of us have had this experience. at some point, we have each said through our tears, `I'm suffering for a love that's not worth it.' we suffer because we feel we are giving more than we receive. we suffer because our love is going unrecognized. we suffer because we are unable to impose our own rules.
but ultimately there is no good reason for our suffering, for in every love lies a seed of our growth. the more we love, the closer we come to spiritual experience. those who are truly enlightened, those whose souls are illuminated by love, have been able to overcome all of the inhibitions and preconceptions of their era. they have been able to sing, to laugh, and to pray out loud; they have danced and shared what saint paul called 'the madness of saintliness.' they have been joyful --because those who love conquer the world and have no fear of loss. true love is an act of total surrender.
this book is about the importance of that surrender. pilar and her companion are fictitious, but they represent the many conflicts that beset us in our search for love. sooner or later, we have to overcome our fears, because the spiritual path can only be travelled through the daily experience of love.
thomas merton once said that the spiritual love is essentially to love. one doesn't love in order to do what is good or to help or to protect someone. if we act that way, we are perceiving the other as a simple object, and we are seeing ourselves as wise and generous persons. this has nothing to do with love. to love is to be in communion with the other and to discover in that other the spark of God."
..., this is what i want to share with you today from what i've read. I, too, want to `discover' in you 'the spark of God'. I'll write you more, in parts, what I've read.
love, she
Impregnable
27 February 2007 9:39:26 AM GMT+08:00 : An email to me from a dear friend that griefs to me about her feelings. About her partner, his lies... and more. Lately been painfully heard from many others about their relationships prblems. Painful to hear sometimes, do not know how to help but just listens. I wish her well.
Hi Me,
Hope you have been well.
Its not my intention to avoid seeing you but since we werent able to make it few times, thot it might be as well be this way... the truth is.. here i am so disappointed & felt betrayed about his unfaithfulness & his pack of lies.. i dun wanna be the culprit as well... i'm sure u know wat i mean.. frankly, much as i need alot of attention & hugs now but guess i jus got to resist to it.. and hope that you can continue to be my good pal & my ever patient listening ear, which is what i need most now... please be patient with me cos i might not be myself of late & seems aimless.. which is exactly what have been happening to me tat's why your comment yesterday, i guess.. hope i'll be able to survive & live thru this rough patch soon.. tho i know it wont be so easy & fast... :(
the truth is.. i dun even know wat i want in life now.. for r'ship & career, for myself & my babies...sigh... i'm really totally lost.. think i need to see a counsellor soon...
hope you'll be well and please be.. & look forward to good news for your job proposals.. good luck!!
Cheers Her
Hi Me,
Hope you have been well.
Its not my intention to avoid seeing you but since we werent able to make it few times, thot it might be as well be this way... the truth is.. here i am so disappointed & felt betrayed about his unfaithfulness & his pack of lies.. i dun wanna be the culprit as well... i'm sure u know wat i mean.. frankly, much as i need alot of attention & hugs now but guess i jus got to resist to it.. and hope that you can continue to be my good pal & my ever patient listening ear, which is what i need most now... please be patient with me cos i might not be myself of late & seems aimless.. which is exactly what have been happening to me tat's why your comment yesterday, i guess.. hope i'll be able to survive & live thru this rough patch soon.. tho i know it wont be so easy & fast... :(
the truth is.. i dun even know wat i want in life now.. for r'ship & career, for myself & my babies...sigh... i'm really totally lost.. think i need to see a counsellor soon...
hope you'll be well and please be.. & look forward to good news for your job proposals.. good luck!!
Cheers Her
Sycophant
Today is the ninth day of the Chinese New Year and been a long holiday for me. Resting and thinking alot about what's going with my life. Yea, year of the Pig.. my year.. I am 36 years old this year :)
Not young anymore, got to do something about it. Will try to blog, write down everything i do not want to forget. Will hope to be able to get the Ship I.D. project.
follows an email from my new relationship.. she in love as much as i am. the question : Is love made so easy?
-----------
12 February 2007 1:36:26 AM GMT+08:00
• I am feeling satiety from your love..
• i want to live an active family life with you.. (cleaning house.. picking poo..) :P
• i want to be able to share your passion in life and work.. (women.. and.. women..) ;P
• i want to be able to live our life our own pace.. our own way..
• i want to be able to write and sketch and paint with you.. (something i havent been able to do..)
• i hope we'll be able to keep up with our love like now.. till tomorrow.. and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...
darling.. there are so many things that we know we will want to do together..
but i know watever dat i will tell you now you would feel a cloud of doubt..
please continue to have faith in me..
thanks for being there..
i hope i had been here for you..
thanks for loving me darling..
:)
Not young anymore, got to do something about it. Will try to blog, write down everything i do not want to forget. Will hope to be able to get the Ship I.D. project.
follows an email from my new relationship.. she in love as much as i am. the question : Is love made so easy?
-----------
12 February 2007 1:36:26 AM GMT+08:00
• I am feeling satiety from your love..
• i want to live an active family life with you.. (cleaning house.. picking poo..) :P
• i want to be able to share your passion in life and work.. (women.. and.. women..) ;P
• i want to be able to live our life our own pace.. our own way..
• i want to be able to write and sketch and paint with you.. (something i havent been able to do..)
• i hope we'll be able to keep up with our love like now.. till tomorrow.. and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...
darling.. there are so many things that we know we will want to do together..
but i know watever dat i will tell you now you would feel a cloud of doubt..
please continue to have faith in me..
thanks for being there..
i hope i had been here for you..
thanks for loving me darling..
:)
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