Appurtenance

A love letter from her... almost weekly I will have an email from her expressing her feelings to me, good feelings, bad feelings. I love all these love letters. Wish these was written and mail instead of emails.

20 March 2007 12:01:04 AM GMT+08:00

With or without.. there's still butterflies..

since we wouldnt know if it'll be the same whether or not there is (little)him.. shall we not ponder over that anymore.. no point me trying to argue that i'll still be in love with you or you trying to convince me that you may not be on my list..

and hey.. dont belittle your charisma nor overestimate my appeal.. (for the fact we know very well you're still capable of attracting..) like you said. time bring us together.. the way i see we needed someone at the same time. and had time for each other during those times. so i really dont think the little one has much influence on the relationship. so dont dwell on it for now. and ever. :)

you know there's one line in the song "Don't write me off" that goes:
"And while I know, based on my track record, I might not seem like the safest bet"
i think thats how most of your previous lovers must have felt that way. that u're not a good bet.. i have my uncertainties on that too of cos.. but i guess its jus going to be the way and that we'll have to learn and cope with and let us continue to trust and love each other..

confession. i hate to admit that i was disturbed by (s)her appearance that day. [i almost cant (bear to) type her name here..] i knew i would be. i have always been. im sorry for my behaviour that day. it still stings me when i think about it. evennow. somehow i dont know if you love me cos im a smaller risk to take than her or do you really love me. i know you will say that is a selfish thinking. but this may be a good feeling. it makes me treasure you more. for fear that you may go back to her one day. when and if she really returns. :) dont you think? you mention that she once asked you. what if (g) comes back. will you leave her? i thought of that too. what if g comes back? what if she comes back? and you know what? im actually more jealous of her than g. maybe cos i feel you tend to gather from your "experience" with her and place them on me. and i feel (rather strongly) that its a prejudice towards me.

as much as you think i chose you over the part that i have a baggage (little him) which i dont agree. u must know that i fear too. of you not being able to wait. of the possibility of you meeting someone on the train ride. both of which is highly possible and you capable of. (of cos i know you have your concerns over my issues too.)

i will keep the butterflies.. please continue to give them to me..
also make my heart stronger.. make them miss a beat sometimes.. and at other times, beat a tad faster..

dear, let me know how i can love you more.. and how do i make you love me more..

wanting to love you a lifetime,
silly me..