Empyrean

Do you believe in gifts? Gifts from heaven, from God. I think I have certain gifts. Feelings about things and people. About their feelings and things that also happening or happened that I ahve not seem but realised. Sometimes, this certain person will always be in my mind for a while like the whole morning and I will kow that something is happening to that person or certain thought about he/she will passed by me. Or someone will tells me about their happenings.

Why am I writing about this, because I hate to say I do not like this at all. Yes sometimes is useful.. like needed a taxi and knowing where to wait.. or without even asking you what are your feelings like I can sometimes know it. But many times, I wish I can find out those things myself and without knowing that is that going to happen... relationships is one of them.... can I break this gift or change it? Knowing what is going to happen and make it/ change it to the way I think it should be.

I am not God or HEROS.. or from X-Men.. I am human with soul and a beleiver of GOD. Or all these are just my wild imaginations.

But it does happened many times.. or all the time. yes I love to think and write .. read and watching movies. are these the causes? Can you explained when those feelings actually comes thru. My dreams became real. I won lottery from my dreams.. and so on....

Of course I needed faith to know that I am well, however my ex-wife always think that I was crazy when I spoke of these feelings. I hate to say I look real stupid. I can't hide my own expressions when things happens.. or I got to know certain things before anyone tells me. I wished sometimes those things will not come thru... not real, just my imaginations.

Why? Do you think this is real? Do you think this is funny? Crazy? or I just think too much?

I am a very emotional person, I know. What the cause?

The truth is.. whenever I know of something that I do not wish it is to happen.. i tried to change it and always fail. No one believes in me.