I wrote in my last blog about how my dreams came through and it came through yesterday, the night before I deamt that Pancy won lottery and going to be big prizes. And got a call last night from her and she told me she won $1000 for 2nd prize lottery. How amazing huh? However I wasn't that "surprise" about her winning. Just another "dream" huh...
This morning I woke late about 9am. Waking up with the lights over my head - how I wished all these are just illusion. Not real. That I can chose not to be who I am now or restart my life from 20 years of age knowing what mistakes I have made. Will that be easlier? No.. I do not think so... what I am today is what everyone around made me.
I must say that it was not easy to know that she's married and already 2 years. Meaning to know that she left me for someone else then. I already know that I have to move on and now with her I just got to do it well. I must get a job. A job that can pays the bill. A job that can help - inspire people around me.
I have written a note to a stranger from flickr before.. "I love to draw and dream all day - I wish to be able to save the World". I really wish life can be easlier, too much drama makes me drunk!
1 comment:
maybe you can use more love.
love more.
we know love alone can't keep man alive. but love can keep man going.
you need to keep going. i don't know you. but from your entries it seems you are force to go on. without your lover dearest to you. it will not be easy for you to love again. and you may never have loved again. if for 2 years you have not let her go.
don't look for someone just to fill your space. i hope you really love again.
i hope i too.
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